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You Need to Control Your Emotions During Your Divorce

It is important to keep emotions at bay during your divorce. Ending the financial part of your marriage is no different from ending a business relationship. 

Focus

You need to separate your emotional state from your financial state. A good financial settlement is based solely on the numbers. Redirect any anger into constructive bargaining.

Patience

The divorce process usually takes longer than either party would like. You will be on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Unfortunately, these feelings are common and anger is to be expected. Try not to negotiate until you are ready to take your emotions and anger out of the financial settlement process.

Revenge/Punishment

Who is truly being punished? When you focus on anger, revenge, and/or punishing your spouse financially, often you will be the one that is punished. You run up attorney fees and your focus changes from financial future to their financial present.

Don’t Give Up

On the other hand, don’t let your desire to avoid conflict and pain get in the way of getting your share of the assets. Wives tend to be more willing than the husband to compromise for the sake of the relationship. Your desire for financial security must trump your dislike of conflict. Giving in too much may leave you just as broke as fighting for revenge.

Unfortunately, money can represent power, control or even love. Take a moment to explore what money means to you…

What is your emotional attachment?

What is motivating you to fight over a wedding present?

Why do you want to keep the marital home if you can’t afford it?

Why are you fighting to keep the silver when you could have cash to invest or pay off debts?

Don’t blindly fight for objects that are not in your economic interest to keep. You should be focusing on the big picture and the ultimate settlement. Put your emotional energy into taking control and responsibility of your financial well being.

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